I had this strange moment of awareness.
Awareness that almost everyone I know has a private and mysterious inner life.
Somewhere along the corridors of the mind, lies a deep dark door – a labyrinth of curiosity – but can never be broken into. What’s hidden behind the door? Secret perversions? Unquenchable thirsts? Vulnerable desires?
Do we all have secret identities? Second selves? Alter egos?
Im not talking about comic book superheroes or creative personalities like David Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust, nor the concept of multiple personality disorders like Edward Norton and Tyler Durden in Fight Club.
I’m talking about a duality in our personality. An alter ego that is hidden to the people we exist with on a day to day basis. Is it possible that two polar opposite personalities can coexist in one person or do they split in two and constantly battle? Can a person be so vastly different in moral character from one situation to the next?
I began reading “The strange case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” a novel that examines the duality of human nature, inner struggle between good and evil, human versus animal and civilised versus barbarian. I realised that there is usually an inner struggle between one and the other – and the failure to accept this results in the creation of the duality of personality.
There are certain parts of me that are much darker than I’d like to admit – and therein lies my second self. She is not governed by any construction and makes no apologies for her darkness – she revels in it, she owns it. Is this uninhibited and hedonistic persona the true me? Or is it the kind, sweet girl next door? Or am I both of them in conflict – struggling for the contradictions to coexist?
Who are you and what do you hide?